Fugitive Television/Transcript
Fugitive Television Starred: Microsoft Sam as the Paramount Boss Microsoft Mary as the Pixar Lamp 2008 Logo Speakonia Male 1 as the Walt Disney Logo Speakonia Male 2 as the NBC News Logo Speakonia Male 3 as the Viacom Pinball logo Speakonia Female 2 as Television Robosoft 2 as the Viacom V of Doom Robosoft 3 as the Blue Mountain (Paramount Television 1977 Logo) (At the end, Television sways around the mountain 10 times then goes off from the right) Boss: Cut! Blue Mountain, what are you doing to Television? Stop abusing him! He doesn't need any more scars from you! Mountain: He's the one who abuses me and I never saw any scars on him. Boss: No matter. We've got to find Television before he gets hurt. (Walt Disney Pictures version 1995) (Television enters from the right replacing “Pictures”) Television: Wow! Walt Disney in person! Can I have your autograph, Mr. Disney? Disney: I'm afraid you're mistaken, Television. I'm just a Disney logo. The real Walt Disney died in 1966. Television: I didn't even know he was sick. Well, I guess I'll have to wait until they unfreeze him. Disney: Don't hold your breath. He wasn't frozen; he was cremated. Boss: Television! Stop messing around with Disney and come back here! Television: Gotta skee-daddle. Give my regards to Mickey Mouse. (Television lefts) (Pixar Logo) (Television enters from the right) Pixar: Hello friend. What are you doing in my ID? Television: Running away from the ever-so- abusive Blue Mountain. He always treats me like a slave. Boss: I see you trying to hide in the Pixar lamp, Television. You better give up while you still can. Television: Excuse me, Pixar, but I've gotta light out. (Television lefts) (NBC News) (Television fades under “NEWS”) NBC News: Hey! You there! Yes, you, Television! You effed up the NBC News ID. Television: I need a place to hide. That Paramount Blue Mountain is so abusive he makes Mike Tyson look like a saint. NBC News: I don't care if he's an iconoclastic plutocrat like Donald Trump. Get out! Now! (Television fades out) (Viacom Pinball) (Television separates A Viacom and Presentation) Viacom Pinball: All right, what's the big idea? Television: Help! Help! Save me from that abusive Paramount Blue Mountain! Boss: So there you are, Television! If you don't come back to Paramount in five minutes, I'm filing charges of mutiny against you. Television: That damned Blue Mountain went back on his word and abused me again. I've got so many scars, it would make Lazarus jealous. Boss: Don't give me that bullshit, Television! Come back or I'll see you in court. And if I see you in court, don't think for one minute you won't be found guilty. Television: No jury in the world would convict me. You'll never take me alive. (Television left) Boss: Oh noes! He's headed right at the dreaded V of Doom! (Viacom V of Doom) (Music winds down) (A Viacom Presentation fades away, Television enters from the right) Television: I've gotta hide. That Blue Mountain has sicked the law on me. Eek! It's the V of Doom! (Television lefts to the right) Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Viacom: All I wanted to do was be friends with somebody, but nobody would let me. Boss: Because you've scared off too many innocent people like that Television from the Blue Mountain logo. Viacom: The story of my life. I'm like Rodney Dangerfield--- no respect. I'm hated, cursed at and reviled by everyone in YouTube Land. I was never made for little children. Was that really the Television from the Blue Mountain logo? Boss: It sure was. He's a fugitive from Paramount and I've summoned the cops to help track him down. Viacom: Well, at one time Paramount was owned by my company, Viacom. I'm sure that Television would feel better if we made a compromise. Boss: V of Doom, you have your people talk to my people and you've got a deal. So… (Paramount Television) (Television slides to the place) (Gulf+Western changed to Viacom) Blue Mountain: I'm glad you decided to come back, Television. I didn't mean to be so slippery. Television: Just be careful you don't get any more abusive ideas into that peak of yours. Boss: Somehow, I have the feeling we haven't heard the last of that infernal V. To be continued… Category:Transcripts